A Survivor Leading the Way for Allies
A Survivor Leading the Way for Allies
By Stacy Malone
Executive Director, Victim Rights Law Center
When I see a survivor walk into our office, I know how hard it was for them to get here. I have seen in a survivor’s eyes the hell they have experienced because I know that hell. I can feel a physical vibration from a survivor when their emotions are just so raw that their body can’t contain it. I know how it feels to shake from the inside out even years after an assault. The fear, paranoia, and anxiety cannot be described. It is so gut-wrenchingly awful that words don’t exist to express how hard it is to go to sleep, wake up, and stay alive that day. I am a rape survivor. I am also the leader of an anti-sexual violence organization.
If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me, “How can you do that work as a survivor?” well, I’d never have to write another grant to provide free lawyers for survivors again. The anti-sexual violence movement is a beautiful mix of survivors and allies. You don’t need to be a survivor to be an incredible advocate for survivors. I have seen firsthand fierce allies fight against the injustices endured by survivors. It makes my heart sing! Survivors need that. We cannot be alone in what feels like a never-ending fight to end sexual violence. Being a survivor in this field is hard. It can be emotionally, psychologically, and physically draining.
Yes, there have been days in my career where I feel like every single thing is just one big trigger. My own nightmares could put the scariest movie to shame. I’ve worked hard to learn how to navigate relationships so that the violence I experienced doesn’t dictate my present or future. So, when I’m asked the question “How you do that work as a survivor?” I often answer, “How can I not?”
During this Sexual Assault Awareness Month and the year of VRLC’s 20th Anniversary, we celebrate the resilience of our clients and each other. We are honored to stand beside VRLC’s clients as fellow survivors and allies.
Stacy Malone is the Executive Director of Victim Rights Law Center. Her essay, “The Power of Survivor-Defined Justice” is in the anthology Believe Me: How Trusting Women Can Change the World, released in January 2020.